June 6th, 1838
To day, while standing in the south window of the south parlor with J, I acknowledged the attachment which I feel for him. It has been of gradual growth; but my heart beats thick and full when I think what an important step I have taken! The most important in a woman’s life, after the consecration of her soul to God. I cannot think of this step without fear, and prayer to my heavenly Father for guidance and protection.
J does deserve my love and he prized it quite enough. He grasped my hand very tightly in his hand, which felt rather weak and slick like one of the trout fishes Papa brings back from the creek. But J’s strength does not matter to me in the least, and I know that as soon as we can, we shall bind our lives together and these poorly hidden initials will no longer be needed to hide my affection.